I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
