Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
