bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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