Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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