well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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