why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize