dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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