I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize