Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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