In the future we'll all be gay
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
