South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
