I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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