So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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