I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
