If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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