I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
