My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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