Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
