Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
