If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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