fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just want to make out with him forever
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
