i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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