the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
