conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
