Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Randomize
