dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
