marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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