hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
