My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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