I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
