No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
