i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
