Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
