She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
