Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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