Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
