I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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