so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
