Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
