Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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