Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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