hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she smelled like a LAN party
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
