I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
