are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
