I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
