I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
