I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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