I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
