it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize