oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize