The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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