is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize