Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
