I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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