So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
