Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
