If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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