This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
