:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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