he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
