i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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